Lululu

It seems, that the history took the full circle again. Gosh, I feel like I’m helpless at writing; it’s been so long since I did that. But I found a nice link to the last entry. Or maybe not, I did not find it: this just has happened itself.

Ewelullululina—that’s how I misspelled her name in the phone book. That tiny SE display and being loaded as fuck certainly didn’t help with getting that right. However, it will stay this way forever, I kind of like it even. This stupid detail from that glorious night somehow sticked in my memory. In my mind, I usually skip one syllable, one lu, when I pronounce it. I also accentuate the end part, something like line-ah. The remaining lulu part should be quick, just like Ryu’s famous Lululu, which was turned into a great EDM piece of art by the same title. My goodness, it enchanted me to a great extent, close to the real Lulu, as I like to call her now.

What are the Odds?

It’s really surprising, and even hard to imagine, but I did actually text her right after finishing the previous memo! Fuck me! I still remember the disappointment… Yeah, no great success, which on the other hand was pretty easy to guess would happen. I can easily bring the messages up, my phone’s on the desk right next to my keyboard, but I really would prefer not…

I remember it anyway. I said something about calling her the next day, spiced up with some juicy compliments. In all seriousness, that seemed to me like a perfect ploy, including the previous couple of messages. I imagined her wetting her pants while reading this (or at least blushing a bit!). Then the reality came. She was pretty quick to answer, that it was not really a good idea. It crushed me in an instant. I might have texted back something in the vein of: “OK then, hope to see you again someday, somehow.”

Back then, I hadn’t really expected that someday & somehow would actually happen. Even though I came up with numerous ways of setting it up, including waiting for her to show up at a bus stop for as many hours as necessary (never did that eventually). I could have only remembered a couple of things about her: that tattoo, headphones, height more or less, hair—same. I guess I didn’t really want to hit random girls up just to find out it weren’t her leaving them confused as fuck.

One time in Pik I thought I spotted her. All the known details matched from bigger distance. I was so excited, I can remember pretty vividly coming closer to take a peek at her tattoo. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a sunflower… Oh, let’s not forget about the creepiest, stalker-thing I was trying: the blessed AirDrop! Ha ha, I think I read about it in some tech security related article, and boy, this shit works! Even though there were only a couple of situations that I had to resort to it (like back then in Pik), the final one got me a 100% confirmation. Holy shit, can you believe it?! I finally met her again!!!

Picture this, I’m coming home on a tram, back from work. Pretty tired after a whole day on feet. I felt a relief when I took a seat for the last two stops. It was really crowded, rush hours I guess. I’ve been watching the people around for a while before I sat. It’s what I usually do, just to make sure I’m not gonna be frowned upon for taking away that privilege from somebody in greater need. I was thinking to myself, ah, what the hell, there’s some girl over there, even younger sitting; nobody will care. So I sat. Right. Across. Her.

She was wearing those damn headphones. Good for me, check. Chubby, check; hair, good. Tattoo not visible though, friggin’ winter and those long sleeves. She really seems familiar. Beautiful, without a doubt. Suddenly she smiles and rolls her eyes down, nodding her head lower, as if she wanted nobody to see that. It was so charming. I do the same, and while my eyes are lower, I look for a phone and that awesome AirDrop sharing. Quick, it’s the last stop, let’s do this before she takes off! I open up a random picture and press Share with great excitement. And I finally see what I imagined so many times before. Bingo! Ewelullululina contact appeared, it must be her! I couldn’t stop smiling as if I was the luckiest man alive.

We reached the final destination. People are leaving. So is she; half in a hurry, half wanting me to catch her up, not even looking close to me, but still smiling. I do not hurry, I let her walk a couple of steps and in a rush of adrenaline I grab her arm…

A Dream Came True

“Are you E.?”, “Yes.” “Do you remember me?”, smile and a nod. Those eyes, oh my gosh. The eyelashes, so long! I wasn’t making it up in my head on that drunken night, she is even more beautiful than J Law. How was that possible? I couldn’t stop wondering. We chatted on our way to change for the bus. I asked about her uni, perhaps told her how happy I was. In the end, I decided to stop by at a shop and not go on a bus with her, so I ended up that brief but lovely conversation with a quick: “We should go for coffee someday!” She didn’t seem to oppose. The dream lasted then, until the next few days when I incidentally… Met her again!

OK, one time I was lucky, but for the second in a row, not so long after? Holy shit, this one was even better. It was the bus again, but the other direction: she was heading for classes, I was going to work. I again recognized her by the headphones, which she never takes off it seems, but at that time I was more familiar with her sweet face to be relying on it solely (without hacking my way to it with AirDrop). The chat was nice. We were standing, but as opposed to the most recent walk, we could gaze at each other face to face. To be honest, I was confused a bit, intimidated maybe; lost for words slightly, coming up with banal lines. Oh, there was a moment when I got her to show some real emotions. It was when I told her about the AirDrop trick. She was like: “Oh my gosh!”, but you know, in a cool way. Didn’t seem to be scared or something. Of course not, who am I kidding? I even asked her if she was thinking I’m some kind of a creep. She joked that it’s fine until I don’t linger by her front door. Lucky me! Or unlucky? How about that?

I brought up the coffee again, and unfortunately this time around I sensed some decline in her manner of speaking. I could guess pretty accurately what it was about. Anyway, she went on a tram, me—the other direction, with a head full of plans of having a date-like meeting with her. Not a real date per se, I only wanted her company, talk to her again with no time pressure. Relationships are not my game anymore. Fuck, even sex is no longer such a lingering need.

My whole day at work was improved just by that short meeting. I couldn’t imagine what it would be if I spend more time with her. I told her something like that in a message on that same day. I described her as so beautiful. And guess what? She didn’t quite like the compliment. She said she was uncomfortable with strangers calling her like that. Hmm. Pretty damn different this time, huh? A couple of texts in, she tells me she’s got a boyfriend. I fucking knew it. I just wanted to drink coffee, not marry her!